Best of Both Worlds
by TJ Cale
Summary: It's a House/Hannah Montana X-over! It's supposed to be funny in a dumb, random way....then again, what else could it be? Rated for some Language...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**hey people of Earth! i had this idea while my brother was making me watch HM. (FYI, I absolutely LOATHE Hannah Montana) This is suppose to make fun of her. By the way, there are some references to another fic I wrote called Attack of the Boy Bands. You don't necessarily need to read it, but it would help a little! this is not finished and i will only continue it if someone asks me to! Reviews are love, but if you're lazy like me, a favourite is appreciated!

Btw, I dont own anything! (and if i forget to write a disclaimer its because i have OECD, and I'm thinking about Edward)

* * *

It was a normal day on tour, Miley Stewart was laying around in her tour bus with her two best friends, Lilly and Oliver. They had just pulled into Princeton, New Jersey, and Miley was anxious to get to the concert. Suddenly, she could feel her throat closing up.

"Lilly!! Oliver! Helppp!! agh!" gasp They screamed and tried to help their friend as she turned a delicate shade of blue.

Lilly grabbed the Hannah cell-phone, and threw the wig on Miley.

"911? Hannah Montana isn't breathing!!"

_**Meanwhile...**_

Dr. Gregory House was just getting to sleep when his boss, Dr. Lisa Cuddy came through his office door. "HOUSE!! House, you've got a case. Unexplained anaphylaxis in a girl who's been checked for allergies a million times, all negative. You will like this one...it's another celebrity, but this time don't pester her until she sings at a benefit." Cuddy handed him the file and walked out of the door.

He looked down at the file.

"Hannah Montana?"

* * *

House walked into the Diagnostic room. "Differential diagnosis for unexplained anaphlaxis."

Chase looked up from his crossword puzzle. "Alleriges?"

House smirked. "Thank you, Captain Obvious for enlightening us on the wonders of your mind. The girl's been tested for allergies several times. All negative. Oh, by the way its Hannah Montana, whoever that is."

Surprisingly, Foreman looked up. "No way! It's Hannah Montana? Sweet!!"

House sent him an extremely puzzled look. "Okay, since Foreman here knows all about the girl, why don't you tell the class about little Miss Montana?"

Foreman sighed. "My niece likes her. She made me go to a concert with her once. We had tickets to go to her performance this weekend. She's a huge pop star, only she has good music, not fluffy stupid stuff. Maybe I can get her autograph! For my niece, I mean."

"Okay, so she's another popstar. You know what we do with those right, Kyle? -oops! I mean Chase!" House snarked as Chase turned bright pink. Last year, House had found out that Chase was in an 80's boy band before becoming a doc. Let's just say the end result was sappy 80's love songs at a benefit.

Cameron finally decided to put her two cents in and said "I've heard one of her songs before! _Life's what you maaakke itt..._"

And she began to sing an off-tone version of the song. She had begun to be a bit loopy at work now that she was jumping House every 5 minutes in the nearest unused utility closet.

Halfway through, Wilson walked in and began to sing along.

By the time Cameron and Wilson finished their duet, House was rolling on the floor laughing. Forman clapped enthusiastically. "That was great, but shouldn't we be concentrating on the case?"

Wilson piped up. "What case?"

"Hannah Montana. Unexplained anaphlaxisis. She's here. In room," House looked down at the folder. "...346"

At this Wilson turned around and ran out the door and toward the elevators. Cameron, Foreman, and Chase ran after him, all eager to see their favourite popstar. House smirked at their fangirl-ness and limped toward the elevators after them.

* * *

After a seemingly long elevator ride to the third floor, the crazed docs ran into Hannah Montana's room. "Hey there!" Cameron said excitedly. "You're Hannah Montana!"

Miley smiled. "Yes, yes I am. Do you know what's wrong with me? I really need to go to my concert. I can't let my fans down!"

Cameron smiled. "We won't let you miss it! But we have to take some tests first-"

"Can I have you're autograph?!" Foreman Squealed.

Miley looked at this thirty-something star-struck neurologist, thoroughly confused. "Sure...Hey! Wait a minute! I know you!" She pointed at Chase. "You were in that band I use to love!! Musical Boyz! I can't believe it!! I used to Worship you!"

Chase turned bright crimson, while Cameron was giggling like mad. Foreman was staring at a shiny penny on the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N** This isn't a vary long update, but it is an update indeed. Lots of random laughs that may be only funny to me, but oh well... Body Bag is one of my favourite songs, so if you haven't heard it, look it up. Reviews are love, but a favourite is just as nice :) Enjoy!!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own House, Hannah Montana, Body Bag, or the Cancer Mobile :) Don't sue

* * *

House finally made it into the room. He looked around and focused on Miley and her two friends. "What are you hiding?"

Miley's mouth dropped open. "Who are you?"-She turned to Cameron. "Who is he? What's he doing here?"

Cameron smiled reassuringly. "Hannah, this is Dr. House. He's paranoid."

"Oh, Dr. House, do you know what's wrong with me?" She asked with a puppy dog look in her eyes.

House smirked. "Oh yes, you can go home now, sweetie. You're all better now. Now, that that's done, I can go save a cute little unicorn." He snarked.

Foreman frowned on House. "What did you do that for? That was mean! You're a big Meanie head!!"

House lifted up one eyebrow. "And you're fourteen years old. What are you hiding? You are hiding something. I can smell the fear. And your friends are covering you. I sense conspiracy."

Cameron turned on him with a piercing glare. "House! Get out of here! The patient doesn't need you accusing her of lying."

He shrugged, nonchalant. "Okay. I'll leave. For now. Goodbye, my lying little popstar."

Cameron looked at Miley and smiled. "We're going to run some tests now. We'll make sure Dr. House doesn't bother you again." She turned and walked out of the room followed by Forman and Chase.

Miley turned to Lilly and whispered, "Do you think he knows? How could he have figured out when know one else...?"

Lilly shushed her. "Mi- I mean Hannah, don't worry about it. Just calm down."

"Give the doc no reason to suspect anything." Oliver said, looking around to make sure they weren't being heard. He saw Nurse Brenda and a cute blonde nurse giggling at the nurse's desk. He shot them a nasty look and turned back to his friends. "We can't talk about this anymore. We don't know who could be working for House."

Miley nodded. "You're right, Oliver. Let's just get through this as though nothing is out of the ordinary. And we'd better call Daddy and tell him we're here. Oliver, get a nurse."

Oliver walked out of her room and strolled past Nurse Brenda right to the other Nurse. "We need some help. Hannah would like to make a phone call if that's no problem." He sweet-talked, oozing a strange, cheesy charm.

The Nurse laughed. "That's no problem, honey. Tell Hannah I'll be right in. My name is Nurse Katie, by the way. If you ever need anything, anything at all, just give me a call."

Oliver gaped shamelessly as Katie turned and walked away. He slowly walked back to Hannah's bedside and sat down in one of the chairs. Miley and Lilly stared at him, confused. "Oliver, what's wrong?" Miley said, while Lilly was shaking his arm.

He snapped out of his revere, and looked back out of the door. "Umm...nothing. The Nurse will be in in a few minutes."

Lilly laughed ruefully. "Okay, Oliver. And how beautiful is she?"

His eyes bugged with the memory. "Gorgeous." He sighed. The trio laughed and decided to pass the time with a _Suite Life _card game.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

House was sitting down in his office. The ducks were in the confrence room, pouring over medical records. Wilson was roaming the hallway in front of House's office, seemingly strutting it like a model on the catwalk. So, as House looked out the glass frount of his office from his desk, he chuckled at his friends metro-ness. Wilson glanced at him, struck a pose, then walked back down the hallway.

Back in the confrence room, Chase suddenly looked up and smiled at Cameron mischeiviously. "Cameron?"

She looked up, agitated at being disturbed. "What?"

"It's Tuesday..." he mused.

She stared at him incredulously. "Oh, for the love of-"

"You're gonna need a Body Bag!" He jumped up onto the table, scattering the files and papers across the room.

Forman also jumped up. "I'll break bones you didn't know you had! When I'm done there will be nothing left of you-"

Chase smiled. "For your friend to hold on to, when they find you cold and blue tonight..."

She sighed, giving in to their childish games. Face down in a Parking lot!!!!" The three of them collapsed with laughter into their chairs.

House opened the door, his brow questioning. The ducks assumed he was wondering why his team of brilliant doctors were singing a violent, yet somehow silly, alternative rock song. They were wrong. "Hit the Lights?" he asked.

Cameron answered. "Yeah, Body Bag. From _This is a Stick-up....Don't Make it Murder_..."

House laughed at the sheer tension of the moment. "Good Song. But, I believe we have a patient downstairs that's lying about something...Now scram..." As the ducks quickly gathered their things, House retreated back into the comfort of his office.

As soon as he had gotten himself comfortable and grabbed a lollipop from his desk, Cuddy was bursting through the door. "HOUSE!!!! I know you have the habit of thinking that everyone's lying to you, but this is an international popstar...a very rich popstar, I might add. Control yourself, or I'm putting Wilson in charge."

House was puzzled. "Why Wilson? He's an oncologist. Popstar doesn't have cancer. She has a lying problem."

"So, what? At least Wilson has some sanity." She scoffed, while outside House's window, Wilson rolled by on a scooter yelling, "CANCER-MOBILE AWAAAYYYY!!"

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Or maybe not. Chill out, House. Or no more PB&V sandwiches for you." She turned and left his office, aimed toward Hannah's room.

"Doctor Cuddy! Do you know what's wrong yet?" Miley smiled sweetly.

"No, Hannah. But, Doctor House has taken a-um-special interest in your case. He sould have it figured out soon."

Lilly stood and faced the administrator. "Why did Dr. House think Hannah was hiding something?"

Cuddy squirmed under the three teen's glares. "Dr. House is....paranoid. He has the tendency to think everyone lies."

"Oh..." Miley whispered.

Oliver just stared at Cuddy.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N** Seeing how much everyone loved the first two parts forced me to write an end. Its basicly what happens when my brain comes up with the most random crap on the face of the earth. Unfortunatly, this will be the end because I'm not as intrested in House anymore and I'll be working on other things. Love and cookies to everyone who has reviewed :)

Disclaimer: Not mine, except for the crazy

* * *

Cuddy looked at Oliver for a minute. "Kid, do you have some kinda staring problem?"

"Why...yes I do." He said somewhat in a daze. He slowly got up and walked out of the room, hitting the door on the way.

Lilly turned her head. "Well, that was weird."

"You said it. I'll send Dr. Chase in to...um...I don't know...do whatever it is that he does." Cuddy walked out of the room, wondering about her own sanity.

And as she said, Chase walked in with his large wombat smile plastered onto his face. "Hey there Hannah! How are you doing?"

"Pretty good, actually. Are you here to do tests?" She asked, looking rather like Bambi.

"No, just to check your-" Chase reached over her, but due to a stray banana peel, fell on top of her poor little head, knocking off the wig.

Lilly gasped. "Oh noes!"

Miley gasped. "Oh noes!"

Chase just looked at her. "Sorry. Wait, you can't be Hannah Montana! YOU IMPOSTER!" For a moment he looked genuinly hurt.

Miley cried, "Oh noes, it's not like that! I am Hannah Montana but it's a fake name, I'm really Miley Stewart, but I wanna be a REAL Girl!" Somehow she managed to stand up on the bed and strike a superman pose.

"Oh, OK." Chase said. " And by the way, have you had any symptoms since you arrived here?"

Miley looked at him strangely. "Noes..."

Cameron walked in at this moment. "Are you even sick?"

"Um...noes."

Foreman, who appeared next to the bed with a puff of smoke that I'll never explain, laughed. "Were you eating when you choked?"

"Um...Yes."

At this point House poked his head in with headphones on and his tennis ball in hand. He had heard none of the previous conversation. He pulled out one earbud. "You are a fake popstar with a horrible singing voice named Miley Cyrus and chances are in a few years you'll have multiple personality disorder. But you're not sick. You choked on food. Get out."

House walked away toward the elevators as Wilson once again rolled by on his Cancer Mobile. This time House jumped on, and they

made their way back to Hannah's room, with Cuddy in tow.

Seeing everyone in the room, Oliver randomly came back with the blank look still on his face. He began to sing. "We're all in this together once we know that we are, we're all stars and we see that..."

Everyone looked at each other and shrugged. They all joined in and held hands and sang High School Musical until the cows came home.

FIN

* * *

Once again, much love to everyone who pressured me into finishing this.


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